Hello ReFRESH!

We are a mere 19 days away from our sharing time together and with each day that passes the excitement and gratitude abounds!  Trina and I hope you are feeling the same.  Today, I wanted to share an article that I wrote just after graduating from the University of Santa Monica.  Our commencement speaker was Ariana Huffington from Huffington Post.  She challenged our class to write, to reach, to serve and to go onward and upward.  Immediately after that time of PURE JOY, I was in a hotel in Brazil and the following article came forward for me.  Having it published was another joy filled moment.  I hope I get to share with each of you  how you can activate JOY in your life with the skills and tools I have learned.  If you have the time to commit, you have someone ready to share and to be of service to YOU!  To being  enJOY!

THE BLOG 

09/23/2015 02:51 pm ET Updated Sep 23, 2016

Finding My Divine Purpose When the Nest Is Empty and My Heart Is Full

By Helen Ingram Mitchell

“My name is Helen, and I have an empty nest!” I feel like there should be a support group for those who have tended their nests, perfected the role of motherhood, and are now rediscovering their identity without children in the home.

It’s that time of the year, when we take our kids off to college for the first time or, if they are veterans, we return them to their life of freedom. Before college happened, I was Mother on Duty and available for service 24/7 for 18+ years. I chose to serve in this role when I was needed and even when I wasn’t needed. I performed all of the natural duties for the job. You know all the mom stuff; nurse, car pool driver, school volunteer, sports volunteer, homework manager, counselor, detective, internet guru, private eye, listener, comforter, and all other duties as needed! I took my role very seriously. Being a mother became who I was, what I related to, and what I lived to do. Somewhere in the act of duty, I lost Helen.

When I realized that I would soon be relieved of all my hands on duties, I was in shock. I had to come to grips with the facts that not only was he moving out but to another state and he would only return when he chose. He has his own life, he will no longer be in my nest, and without all my responsibilities, I may not have a purpose. I thought for all of a minute, when the light bulb went off and I heard a small voice begin to speak to me. It was a familiar voice that I barely heard much these days. I began to listen and heard:“This is your time, find you, your job is done and what will you choose to do now?” I was shocked to hear the words so loud and clear in my being. So I pondered this question: What would I choose to do now?

I was scared and paralyzed for a time. An “empty nester” I couldn’t imagine what this new life that others kidded about would be like. I really did not know what I would do, but the more I pondered, my heart began to open to new possibilities. I heeded the call of the still small voice. I knew there was something that I NEEDED to do and I would pick myself up from the realization of “empty” and charge ahead to fill myself. I didn’t know what I was doing at the time, but as I reflect back — I was searching for my purpose when the nest became empty. I had time to listen to my inner knowing and when I did, my heart was filled with love.

Although nurturing and mothering were important and useful skills of mine, and something I was great at, I came to realize that I have many other skills that I can put to use moving forward. First up, I am a planner and organizer, so I created a group in my area of mothers I knew and loved who would join me in the uncharted territory of empty nest land. I chose to keep the group small and intimate. We are a group of eight women and our last or only children graduated together from the same high school. I also added a couple moms who had been in the world of empty nest land for a few years. My thought was they would be great leaders and guides for us novices. I named our group the NEXT CHAPTER. We joked that we were a book club of sorts, but we knew the real purpose was to look into each other eyes and recognize that look of loss and find our way together. We knew we needed each other and we defined our charge as — “THE Next Chapter” — an eclectic and diverse group of ladies leveraging one another to renew our minds and explore new possibilities in life thru reading, writing and adventure.

So what have we done? We found our spouses, reclaimed our home space, moved houses, got jobs, changed jobs, quit jobs, had parties, shopped, attended church, supported philanthropic causes, took classes, exercised with trainers, patronized the arts, took art classes, enjoyed nights out, cooking, photography, vision boards, reading, bought vacation homes, continue to serve our communities and others… On and on and on we are finding and discovering our Next Chapter. We were doing the things we loved, that were for U.S., and we felt good about it.

When my son left for college two years ago, I left for college as well. I have always been a spiritual seeker of sorts, reading books, taking classes and seeking the answers my Soul longed to know. I somehow — (although there are no coincidences) was led to Google “psychology,” then “spiritual” and then one day “Spiritual Psychology.” EUREKA! There it was my new home away from home for the next two years. The University of Santa Monica, where I applied and was accepted to the Master’s program in Spiritual Psychology, all the way across county in Santa Monica, California. From Atlanta to Santa Monica it was 2,175 miles traveled one weekend a month. It was the location I wanted and what my heart needed. The tools I have acquired here helped launch me to my reclaimed life, fill my empty nest, and discover my next chapter.

Over the last two years, our kids had asked that we not come to HELP them move in to their apartments, not come to plan their 21st birthday dinner, and not show up in their cities with plans for them. We realized that some of the things we were using to hold on to our babies were again being taken away. Turns out, our “kids” who left the nest, whom we had taught for so long, were the ones teaching us how to “LET THEM GO.”

We now know that it is time to find our DIVINE purpose. To determine what are we doing here and what have we not yet done with this gift of life? Our kids are thriving, working, starting junior year in prestigious universities, living in great cities, studying for a semester or a year abroad. They have left the nest successfully and launched themselves in this present moment. We, their moms, are still joyously finding our way! We are finding our Soul’s Calling and opening our hearts to being fulfilled and not just filling the time.

After two years, we have moved through the loss, the anxiety, the depression, and the confusion of building new identities. I am happy to say, we are now a flourishing group of unique women still supporting one another, traveling, meeting monthly to continue our support and inspiring one another on what the nest can look like two more years from now.

So who am I mothering now? I am mothering MYSELF, in my beautiful sweet nest holding and comforting MY younger self. I am practicing loving, forgiving, compassion, ease, grace, joy, intuition, silence, patience, acceptance, the divine unknowing, fun, finding my sexy, loving life and the people in the world, understanding what “this or something better for the good of all concerned” really means, meditation practice, self-nurturing practices, self-honoring choices, dignity of allowing another to have their process, peace, oneness, seeing the loving essence, setting intentions, manifesting and co-creating, opening my heart, and that living and loving is my divine purpose.

I graduated with my master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology three weeks ago, and Arianna Huffington was our commencement speaker. She was Golden; she spoke the words that I needed to hear at the end of this two-year journey. Onward, Upward, and INWARD! This is how I chose to find my divine Soulful purpose when my nest emptied.

The biggest realization has been that my nest is no longer empty. What once felt like a gaping hole is now filled with a Soulful presence; the Presence of me, Helen. And so it is! I love being a mom and I have learned to love mothering but being a mother is not my only value. Now it is my turn, I am continuing to love me and discovering my joy so that I can be accessible to loving all others. If you find yourself with an “empty nest” what can you choose to do now? It’s YOUR turn. You deserve it.

Onward, Upward, and INWARD!

Namaste

My most precious moment caught, my son telling me how proud he was of me just minutes after graduation!

———

HuffPost’s GPS for the Soul app is based on two truths about human beings. First: We all have a centered place of wisdom, harmony and balance within us. Second: We’re all going to veer away from that place, again and again and again. What we need is a great course-correcting mechanism — a GPS for the Soul — to help us find our way back to that centered place, from which everything is possible.

Because no one knows better than you what helps you de-stress and tap into that place of peace inside yourself, it’s important for you to create your very own GPS guide — a personalized collection of whatever helps you course-correct. Email us at [email protected] and we’ll set you up with your very own HuffPost blogger account to share your guide on the site. If you’re already a blogger, we encourage you to upload your personal guide today. We can’t wait to see what you have to share.

Follow Helen Ingram Mitchell on Twitter: www.twitter.com/helen121212

Helen Ingram Mitchell Creative, Divine Being having a Human Experience, Lover of Life, World Traveler, Speaker, and Writer